Hurting More and More Everyday.

Do you find it true when people say love hurts sometimes? I believe this is true. I know I talk a lot about Mommy and Mamma but I am having such a hard time letting go. I want to apologize to Stacey for being a bitch to you. But I sit here ponding on the thoughts that I don't need your prayers.....I have never needed you before why would I need you now?? I am use to doing things by myself so I can pray for myself!!!

None of you were there...................just me. I am thinking No don't leave me here! You say that me being in Bryan sucks...why leave me here? Suicide is always on my mind is that what God is suopposta be teaching me......To learn more ways too kill myself???

Do you think I could go through with it? I am sick of hear the same thing over and over again.....God will help you through it! I am having a very hard time looking to Him right now...My faith is slowly fading into the darkness! My old ways are coming back...is that what God is teaching me....to go back? I am being hurt over and over again and trust anybody or getting close to people....is that another thing he is teaching me.....to trust nobody and shut people out???

What is God helping me with right now??? Does anybody have an answer for me??? Because right now would be a good time too tell me.